Raising Mokopuna - My Journey

Raising Mokopuna: My Journey

“Raising mokopuna has been one of the most profound experiences of my life.”

I was fortunate to live in a multigenerational home with my husband, my son, and his partner, who were raising their own tamariki alongside us. In the traditional sense, this was a blessing having multiple generations together created a natural support system, a whānau network carrying knowledge, love, and guidance.

I was also blessed to have my nanny, Hinerangi, still here with us. Her presence brought a sense of wholeness, grounding, and continuity of our whakapapa, reminding me of the strength and wisdom that flows through generations.

During this time, I was also fortunate to have my eldest daughter living with us for a short period while she navigated a divorce and tried to find herself again. Having her close brought both comfort and perspective, as we supported one another through life’s transitions. Her presence was a reminder of the resilience of our whānau and of the importance of holding space for those we love while they rebuild and grow.

I was also supported by my cousin, an experienced ECE kaiako, who ensured my mokopuna were enrolled in her childcare so she could nurture them too. These connections were invaluable, helping me navigate the responsibilities of caregiver, teacher, and provider while balancing full-time work.

Navigating Challenges

Life was not without its challenges. We all worked full-time jobs just to stay afloat, and applying for a benefit felt daunting especially when interacting with WINZ case managers in my place of work. I carried a deep sense of shame, leaning on a system that often felt designed to suppress rather than uplift and empower.

There were times I felt like a failure having struggled with my own addictions, I feared I had let my children down. At the same time, I wrestled with complex emotions toward my mokopuna’s mother. I resented her, closing her off at times, yet felt deep mamae seeing her life unravel before me and being powerless to help her. Holding the tension of love, pain, and frustration was exhausting, but it also taught me about compassion, boundaries, and the limits of what one person can carry.

Joy, Grief, and the Emotional Journey

Balancing work while raising mokopuna brought moments of pure joy, laughter, and connection but also grief, guilt, and frustration. Navigating schools, healthcare, and social systems could feel isolating, and sometimes it seemed as though no one truly saw the effort it took to hold everything together.

Menopause added another layer. Changes in energy, mood, and focus reminded me that I too needed care and attention. Nurturing myself was not indulgent; it was essential. It allowed me to continue giving from a place of strength, presence, and balance.

The Wisdom of Whānau

Through it all, I learned the values of whānau, showing up, leaning on those who remained, and embracing intergenerational connection became acts of resilience and love. Even amidst struggles, there was joy, growth, and the quiet power of being present for the ones who needed me most.

My Why

“Raising mokopuna while navigating menopause is becoming increasingly common for wāhine today.”

Traditionally, this was part of everyday life, supported by extended whānau, but modern life looks different. As wāhine, we carry so much responsibilities, expectations, emotions, and the physical and emotional changes of this life stage.

I want to empower wāhine, providing guidance, support, and a space to navigate this stage of life with strength, dignity, and connection. By sharing my story, I hope to inspire others to embrace their journey, lean on their whānau, and reclaim their mana as caregivers, nurturers, and wāhine of wisdom.